Self-doubt is a bitch. It’s like an irritating rash or a pungent odour that won’t go away! Going back to university was met with apprehension. One week into my course in interior design, I was already having second thoughts. Was I nuts pursuing a career change? Was I delusional chasing my dream of becoming a decorator? Had I made a foolish mistake? These questions pounded my head like a tonne of bricks!
The semester began in July 2013 and kicked off with a week of Orientation. I had butterflies in my stomach as I looked around the room, to be greeted by people half my age! During the ‘meet & greet’ period, one of the guys pointed out that he’d just returned from Hawaii. To break the ice, I started humming the Hawaii-5-O theme song and they stared at me blankly, with utter confusion. I could hear crickets sounding off in the background. I felt my face turn red with embarrassment. My attempt to act cool and bond with the youth of today was an epic fail and backfired dismally. Seriously, I felt like a senior citizen!
Our third day was a guided tour of the National Gallery of Victoria. The group stopped at various iconic collections and exhibits. One of them titled “The Angry Mask” appeared like a three year old smeared a spectrum of paint colours blind folded. I didn’t get it….how could this be considered art? A dog’s breakfast had more appeal than this.
Image Source: http://blogs.uclaextension.edu/Newsroom/photo-gallery/
At one point I was asked to describe what I saw in front of me. It was Mark Rothko’s work, aptly called ‘Untitled (Red)’, a massive rectangular canvas in three slightly varying shades of….wait for it….red. I was dumbfounded. After an awkward moment of silence, the curator rescued me from confusion. To her, the piece exhibited a rhythm of emotion in its rawest form – doom, tragedy and despair. Huh? Are you for real??? Watching paint dry would display more feeling than this. I was way in over my head!!!
Yep, it didn’t take me long to realise that I was totally behind the 8-ball. I jumped in the deep end and I was barely treading water. I initially thought that interior decorating was limited to styling a room with furniture and accessories. I quickly discovered there’s critical thinking behind every design scheme.