The BIG Bang Theory!

It had just turned Saturday, in the early morning of November 3. At 12.15am my concentration was broken by the loud sound of a muffler exploding, or was it a fire cracker going off, or even worse, was it possibly the sound of a shotgun being triggered?

My pulse was beating slightly faster than normal, as my imagination ran wild with crazy ideas. I was home alone, besides Winston the Wonder Dog. The ‘big bang’ occurred as I was sitting up in bed, about to play Twilight for the 67th time. Winston on the other hand was comfortably sleeping beside me, completely oblivious to the sinister noise. As usual, he farted but didn’t even flinch.

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I sat there motionless with confusion when it suddenly occurred to me, what if a crime had just been committed? The amateur sleuth that I am intuitively jotted down the time, date, and an explanation of where the sound may have possibly come from. This clue could turn out to be a key piece of a puzzle in a major investigation. The information may be vital and used in court to help put a scum of society into the slammer for life, I thought to myself.

My mind was racing! Earlier on in the evening, I sat through back to back episodes of crime documentaries including Fatal Encounters, Nightmare Next Door, Disappeared and Stalked, hence I was a little on edge. It’s the Discovery HD channel’s ‘Freaky Friday Smorgasbord Specials’ as I like to call it. I don’t know why I have such a strange fixation with these programs, despite knowing that I’m left slightly paralysed with worry during the night, especially when the better half is away.

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Feeling a little restless, I opted to stay awake in case of any further developments to my ‘big bang’ theory. It’s because of these reality based crime investigation shows that I sometimes find myself on ‘neighbourhood watch’ mode. If I spot or sense any odd behaviour close to home, my detective instinct kicks into overdrive and I start channelling my inner Clarice Starling persona. It’s a strange habit…I know! Am I the only one with this type of eccentricity?

To those who don’t know, Clarice Starling (who was played by Oscar winner Jodie Foster) was the rookie detective on the hunt for a serial killer in the blockbuster film Silence of the Lambs. I was in my early teens when I saw the flick and it was the point when I was inspired to become an FBI Agent just like Clarice herself – mind you, it was a short lived phase.

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I tend to find myself on alert when I notice things that are out of the ‘ordinary’. To give you an insight, if I spot a car circling the neighbourhood at an unusual snails pace, I’ll take a mental note of the colour and model of the vehicle, number plates or the description of the driver. Why? Because the car’s occupants are possibly scoping out potential homes to burgle for all I know. When I was still single (ready to mingle) and living alone, on the odd occasion I’d hear people arguing and loitering outside in a drunken state, in the wee hours of the morning. I’d peep through the curtains with a mobile in hand ready to dial 000 (for Australia’s emergency services), in case of any suspicious activity. It’s crazy that my imagination automatically assumes the worse but like a good girl scout, I’d be prepared with an eyewitness report when cops start to door knock the streets.

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Anyway, I digress. An hour slowly ticked by before my pulse began to subdue. The mysterious ‘big bang’ wasn’t followed up by any deafening sounds of sirens from ambulances or any other emergency services. There were no police helicopters hovering above the house. With this in mind, I was quietly confident no felony had taken place, in spite of my inventive imagination. I lay in darkness feeling a little calmer. Why should I be worried, when I had an adorable, snoring, farting Pomeranian x Chihuahua nestled next to me? But I kept an open mind…..

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I woke up the following day to the tune of the 7am news on the radio. With a touch of curiosity I listened intently. Luckily, from all accounts, it was an average night in Melbourne. More importantly, there were no disturbing incidents reported near my neck of the woods. Meanwhile, the Breaking Dawn Part II promotional juggernaut topped the news segments during breakfast television programs, with the status of on-again, off-again relationship between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart the main focus of the media. I sighed in relief. All was well in the world……

13 thoughts on “The BIG Bang Theory!

  1. This made me laugh in large part because it reminds me of my wife’s behavior. I’ve lost more than a few nights sleep as she paced around fretting about bumps in the night.

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